Reflected
by Naturesshadows
Summary: It was suppose to be just a stupid broken mirror. Things weren't meant to go this way, I never expected to see him again. The person I used to be, was still there trapped within. Stupid Namie, this is all her fault. Why is everything so dark? Let me out, I don't wanna be trapped in this mirror anymore. "I-ZA-YA"
1. Chapter 1 - Shattered Glass

**Why hello there, my username is NaturesShadows and I am here today to present my first Durarara story. Haha, yep, I very much enjoyed the series, and I have been debating writing a fanfiction for this anime. **

**On to the disclaimer:**

**Me: _"Hmm, I'm bored. Haha, Izaya I know you love humans, and I know you don't love them personally but could you please do the disclaimer for me" _**

**Izaya: _"Why would I do that, dear Natures, it so fun to watch you squirm, and suffer." _**

**Me: *Smile's* _"Well if you don't do that I may have to make you experience extreme torture, oh and make Shizuo kiss you, we all know you'd 'hate' to do that."_**

**Izaya: *Blushes, then coughs into his hand to hide his embarrassment* _"Fine, NaturesShadows does not own Durarara!" _**

**Me: _"And..."_**

**Izaya: *Mutters _"Stupid Natures"_* _"But she does own the idea behind this story. There you happy now?"_**

**Me: _"Very much so, that you Iza-chan"_ *Beaming smile***

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><p>It was dusk, the sun had just set below the horizon, the sky still painted in vibrant yellows, reds and pinks. Slowly the colours faded into purples and deep blue's creating a cold and somewhat lonely atmosphere in the apartment of a certain Information broker. Izaya sat at his desk typing away, clicking from tab to tab searching the web for his adored information when a sudden wave of dizziness came over him. Reaching his hand to his nose, his eyes slipped shut as he massaged the fatigue away. A sigh slowly escaped his slightly blue lips, and he shivered as the cold seeped into his bones. Glancing at the time in the bottom hand corner of his laptop and learning it was far later then he expected with the time hitting 12:00 AM, he quickly jotted down a few notes, then closed the taps. He shut down, and gently closed the lid of the laptop, spinning in his chair to face his beloved city, looking this way and that, trying to find any signs of life on the empty streets below. Alas nothing was found. He stood, stretching his arms high, and strolled over to his couch, too tired to walk all the way up the stairs to reach his bedroom. He slumped on the cushions and tucked up like a cat, seeking his own body heat. A few minutes later his eyes gradually slipping shut as exhaustion won out.<p>

Izaya's eyes snapped open, at the sound light footsteps outside his apartment door. He went to stand but found himself unable to do so, as another wave of vertigo hit, harder than the first, he found himself falling 'thump' to the hard floor below. His breathing coming out it ragged gasp. _'W-what's going on'_ he thought as his vision faded at the edges. He closed his eyes trying to calm his breathing, after what seemed like hours he sluggishly opened them again. Feeling slightly better he forced himself to his feet and walk towards the front door, opening it and glancing down the hallway from right to left, back to right, nothing; no one was there. He pulled the handle till the door was shut, then spun on his heal walking back to the couch, only to stop halfway there when he noticed a peculiar light flash in the corner of his eye. Izaya turned towards it and started walking, trying to pinpoint what it was. Again he saw a small glimmer of light, something was shining over near the bookshelf, and he strode forward. Reaching to the shelf he thought the object was being held, and started pulling the books off, one by one they came down. When suddenly something sharp pricked his finger and he retracted his hand like a snake, glancing down to see crimson liquid pearling at the top of his pointer finger. He raised his eyebrow, looking back up to the shelf to find a glass shard of some sort. '_What's that doing there, I don't remember having anything glass placed on this shelf'_ Izaya thought as he reached back up to pull the object down. It was a shard of glass, or more precise the shard of a mirror, he flipped it over in his hand and noticed some bizarre words were written on the back. With his interest peaked he searched the shelf some more, finding numerous other shards, and a frame that was golden with intricate patterns carved into it. He got down on his hand and knees and started to arrange the shards on the ground inside the frame, there were a few pieces missing, but in his minds eye he could make out what was written on the back. It read;

"Mirror of the lost,

The soul you keep hidden inside

Will be brought to light, you will witness

The person you refuse to be.

As he is locked within this mirror

Look at your reflection and become him

For he is you and you are him"

Izaya had to smile at that, this was an interesting prank. Yes, Izaya knew it was a prank, probably set up by Namie, for there was no way a mirror could reveal a person's soul, let alone his. He wore his mask way too good for his soul to be reflected in a stupid mirror. Even though Izaya believed all this, he still refused to turn the mirror over and glance at his image, _'just in case'_ he told himself. His curiosity now satisfied he got up off the cold floor, and made his way to the stairs. He was now awake enough to climb them without hurting himself and he figured he could get a few more hours of shut eye, in his big comfy bed.

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><p><strong>Now I must apologize for fans of my other stories. I really am sorry, but I have felt quite under the weather, emotionally and physically. Its been so stressful, I couldn't even pick up a pen without cringing. So I am truly, deeply sorry to have let you guys down. I will however try to continue my stories as I hate leaving things unfinished, it just might take awhile.<strong>

**Thank you for reading the first chapter of Reflected hope to hear form you soon. :)**


	2. Chapter 2 - Crimson Nightmare

**Hello, NaturesShadows here, bringing you another chapter of reflected. I hope this is alright. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own this manga/anime. However I own this story, Reflected.**

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><p>It was cold. Shadows swept into a confined space, eyes opened. He walked steadily towards the glass, peaking out, only to see dull crimson eyes staring back. Small hand reaching, stretching, holding the icy glass in hand, slowly moving towards his pale skin. The shard of mirror biting into his soft porcelain flesh, like a hot knife through butter. Blood splatted to the inky black floor below. Tears gently cascading down pale cheeks. The young boy plummets to the hard ground, fighting to stay conscious. He stilled. A pale corpse upon the ground, staring up with blank eyes. His blue lips moving, defying logic, as whispers fill the ears of the beholder.<p>

"Eyes now opened…

Can you see yourself?

Reflected in the mirror,

The person you used to be,

You who lost themselves,

He who you refuse to be.

Behold your image,

For I am you, and you are me.

Wake up Izaya."

Izaya sat up gasping for breath. Looking this way and that, only to realise he was safe, tucked away in the comfortable confines of his blankets. He reached a hand to his forehead, wiping off the cold sweet that had formed there. He tossed the blankets off him, walked over to his wardrobe, pulled out a pair of boxers, black skinny jeans and a black long sleeved shirt with a V-cut neckline. He forced himself to his feet and strolled over to the bathroom, placing the pile of clothes on the shelf beside the sink. Then he strode over to the shower and turned on the hot water, waited for it to warm, then the cold, satisfied with the temperature he wiped his forehead again and began removing his clothes, pants first, then boxers, then finally his shirt were tossed to the tiled floor below. He stepped into the shower, closed his eyes and looked to the ceiling as trickles of water flowed over his face and body warming his chilled skin and calming his frayed nerves. Realising a sign of pleasure he reached behind him, grasping the shampoo bottle. Squeezing, as the dollop of the gel forms in his hand. Izaya begins to massage the shampoo into his hair, then rinses. The foam slides down his body and clusters together at his feet, only to disappear into the drain. Izaya departed the shower, snatched a white fluffy towel from the towel rack, and then he lightly began drying himself off, the soft texture of the towel providing a strange sort of comfort. Once he deemed himself dry, he pulled on his boxers, then his tight black skinny jeans when he unexpectedly heard the front door of his apartment open then close. _'That strange, Namie isn't supposed to be coming in today. Oh well maybe she forgot something yesterday.' _He proceeded with putting on his long sleeve shirt. He placed the towel over his shoulders to soak up any access water dripping from his hair, and made his way into his bedroom. Walking over to his bedside table, he snatched two switchblades of the table and tucked them into his sleeves. He then marched over to the stairs, and hoped down them one by one like a kid on a sugar high.

A smirk present on his lips he called out "Namie-chan, Namie-chan you here?"

After a few minutes with no reply, he raised an eyebrow, smirk falling from his face and a frown taking its place. "Namie, you know it's not funny to play pranks on your boss. First the mirror, now this, someone better not complain when their pay check is deducted."

Sill no reply came. Izaya shivered slightly, as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He started exploring his apartment, looking for the unidentified intruder. But he found no one. _'Strange… Maybe I'm still tired. Yep that must be it, I'm hearing things due to fatigue… Silly me.'_ He thought as he walked back over to his desk. Only to stop and stare at the floor, his eyes growing wide when he witnessed the most bizarre thing. The mirror he had found yesterday was face up, the shards all together, as if the mirror was never broken. But Izaya knew it had been, for there were a few small holes where the missing pieces; the pieces he couldn't find where meant to go. "W-what, no. No way…" Izaya whimpered as he started trembling. He quickly spun around, and ran to the kitchen, he reached for the office phone, and began dialling numbers. Ring, ring, ring…

"Pick up, please, please, pick up, pick up." Izaya started mumbling, shocked and slightly afraid. He prayed to whoever could hear him that the person on the other end of the line would pick up.

"Hello, Izaya, what's up, it's strange for you to call me so early in the morning, did you and Shizuo get into another fight? Hello? Hello, Iza-"

"Shut up Shinra!" Izaya yelled.

"I-Izaya?" Shinra's voice faltered in shock.

"Shinra, shut up. Something's happing, something I don't understand. I need you to send Celty over. Please Shinra. Please." Izaya begged, his voice wavering.

Shinra could only nod dumbfounded, on the other end of the line. "Y-yeah, I'll send her over, just wait outside ok?"

"T-thanks Shinra." Izaya sobbed, sliding down to the floor. He felt broken, he didn't know why, he didn't care, but for some odd reason that mirror terrified him. He felt lost, like a child wondering blind within the dark of night. It was a strange and overpowering sensation. He needed to leave, he needed out, and he needed it now.

He picked himself up off the floor, and walked to the front door, opening it and throwing one last glance at the mirror on the floor. Instantly he regretted it, as he saw himself as a young child staring back, with big lifeless eyes. He ran out the door, slamming it behind him. Sprinting, as fast as he can, he ran down the stairs, ruling out the elevator completely, he made it to ground floor. Stepping outside into the rain. _'Huh, it's raining. I m-must be really out of it, if I didn't notice that before.'_ He stood there in the cold pouring rain. Waiting for the headless rider, who was a lot less scary than that strange mirror he had left behind in his apartment. He started to feel faint, the rain echoing in his ears, his vision began blurring. 'No, n-not this again.' Izaya thought. He felt sick, the world began spinning, his body temperature spiked. He fell to his knees, concentrating on steading his uneven breaths. He sat there in the cold, shaking, alone, afraid, when all of a sudden he heard the call of a horse. Izaya looked up, as the Dullahan walked ran over to him, she took out the cell phone and franticly began tying. (Are you alright? You don't look so good.) She 'asked' in a concerned tone. Izaya shook his head and whispered, "I'll be alright. I just wanna leave." Celty nodded her 'head', then helped him up. She created a shadow helmet, and got him to put it on. Then she got on the bike, Izaya followed close behind. He wrapped his arms around her waist, as they began to speed off into the cold rain, heading back to the doctors apartment. Celty grew more worried, when she felt Izaya shaking behind her, whether it be from the cold or something else, she did not know, but it frightened her that Izaya, the Izaya Orihara was acting like this. Like a lost child, terrified, helpless and alone.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please ReviewFavourite/Follow it helps me write quicker updates. Thanks again.**


	3. Chapter 3 - Tear Stained Face

**Hello, NaturesShadows here, bringing you another chapter of reflected. I hope this is alright and I do apologize for the Cliff (It had to be done). **

**Disclaimer: I do not own this manga/anime. However I own this story, Reflected.**

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><p>The bike pulled up at the front of the apartment complex. Celty reached down and grabbed at Izaya's arms, gently pulling, trying to persuade him into letting go. He just shook his head against her shoulder blades. As his arms tightened around her thin waist, his face sunk deeper into her back. His shoulders trembled, as he took in gasps of breath. Celty stilled, trying not to disturb him as she felt hot tears leaking though the black fabric of her bikers jumpsuit, to her pale skin. She waited for the trembling to stop, then she tried to get him to let go again. This time he was more willing, his hands putting up no resistance as she pulled them away from her waist. She then turned to face him. Izaya had his head bowed, looking to the seat of the motorcycle, his eyes barely visible behind the raven bangs. His eyes were slightly puffy and red, as the tears continued to fall slowly down his slightly flushed cheeks. She removed the black leather glove from her right hand, then reached over and gently rubbed her thumb against the tears, trying to wipe them away. 'He looks so venerable. It's quite unsettling. I wonder what happened to cause this, Izaya doesn't normally show this side to him. It's kind of cute…' Once the tears had stopped flowing, she held his wrist as she slid off the bike. Then she reached out her other hand to help him do the same. She then began pushing the bike effortlessly with one hand towards the elevator, while simultaneity leading Izaya with her other. The bike took up most of the room, but it was still a comfortable fit, she pressed the button to her and Shinra's floor. The elevator, lifted off, floating up towards their apartment, with a ding the elevator stoped suspended in mid-air, it dangled on a metal cord. She pushed the bike out, then left it in the middle of the hallway, more absorbed in getting Izaya to Shinra, she wanted to know what was wrong with the information broker and she wanted to know it as soon as possible.<p>

They walked along the hallway, Celty was just about to open the door, when Izaya ripped his wrist from Celty's grip. Then he raised his sleeve to his eyes and began frantically rubbing trying to erase the evidence of his tears. Then he pushed in front of her and opened the door himself. Replacing the fear, sadness and variability with a mask of smug amusement. Celty stood shocked, _'How, how did he do that?'_ Celty started to look at Izaya in a whole new way, she saw a person who had suffered, she saw a soul that was hollow; empty inside, and she saw a mask that was keeping the human underneath alive. Without her consent, her arm raised and gripped at Izaya's back, the material trapped between her thumb and fingers. His face turned back to her in shock, his eyes wide as his smile fell from his face.

Right then Shinra popped up, a large smile on his lips as he called "Welcome home Celty, my dear." Then he looked at Izaya, then he looked to Celty, he could see the worried expression she wore. Shinra's eyebrows rose in confusion, then he glanced back to Izaya and he saw it. Izaya looked horrible, his eyes were red with bloodshot, and his normally pale cheeks were flushed, red raw from the tears he most likely just shed. Shinra could see that Izaya's mask, the mask he had built over the years was beginning to crack. He could, for the first time in forever, see the genuine feelings, expressed on his face. Shinra smiled a small sad smile, then he walked over to the both of them and told them to come in.

Izaya stood still waiting for Celty to remove her hand. When she finally did he walked over to the couch and plopped down, curling up like a child. He lay their staring at the floor. Unlike most days Izaya was silent. Meanwhile Shinra had asked Celty what had happened. She just shook her neck from side to side, then shrugged her shoulders. "Ah, I see so you don't know either… Well I guess I should go talk with him huh?" Celty nodded, silently watching as Shinra walked to the couch, then she slowly took her leave, retreating to the confines of her bedroom.

Shinra gradually closed in on his destination. He fell to his knees then draped himself over the back of the couch. Looking at Izaya's face with concern, he reached his hand down and flicked some of Izaya's raven locks from his face. Izaya didn't flinch, in fact he leaned into the touch. Izaya and Shinra got along, mainly because of their mutual agreement. Izaya remained staring at the floor, but his eyes shifted when Shinra began talking in a calm and somewhat quite tone, "Do you want something to drink? I can make us some tea." Izaya bobbed his head, to out of it to respond verbally. He didn't trust his voice at the moment, he felt weak, venerable and although he trusted Shinra, he didn't want to place his burden on his one and only friend.

Shinra strolled to the kitchen, pulled out to mugs, turned on the kettle and waited for the water to boil. Then he grabbed some tea leaves and placed them in a strainer, sitting the utensil in the cup while he poured the boiling hot water into the mug. Repeating the process, he filled both cups, then carried them over to the Informant, who was stilled tucked up on his sofa. He sat down beside his friend, placing the Izaya's mug on the coffee table in front of them. Then proceeded to take small sips from his own. He glanced at Izaya every now and again, waiting for some sign that Izaya was ready to talk. When Izaya's gaze shifted from the floor to the steaming cup of tea, he smiled. Izaya pushed himself up from the couch and reached for his mug, pulling it to his mouth, he began sipping at the hot liquid. Shinra watched as Izaya's eyes dropped, as he began to relax and unwind. It was then when Shinra decided to speak. "Did something happen?"

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><p><strong>Shizuo: When the hell am I gonna be introduced?<strong>

**Me: Oh that will be soon, my dear. Very soon, in fact, you will be making an appearance next chapter.**

**Shizuo: Alright then.**

**Izaya: Yay, I'll have Shizu-chan to cheer me up. XD**

**Shizuo: Shut up, ya stupid flea.**

**Me: Anyway, review, favourite, follow, please review, I need to know if this is any good.**


	4. Chapter 4 - Monster Trapped Within

**Disclaimer: "Ok, so I NaturesShadows do not own Durarara (I wish). I own this story, not the characters or the setting."**

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><p>"Did something happen?"<p>

Suddenly Izaya froze as his mouth opened to speak. What was he to say, _'Did something happen? Did something happen? Yeah something happened alright. I was terrified of a mirror. A stupid mirror scared the great Izaya Orihara.'_ Yep there was absolutely no way he could say that, it was to humiliating. Although that poses a different question _'Why was I afraid of that mirror? It's not like the glass mirror did anything; well it did cause past memories to surface and it did give him a nightmare, but that was nothing to be fearful of.'_ Izaya looked back to Shinra and witnessed his calm posture as he patiently waited for an answer. He cast his eyes back down to the floor, whispering "I-I was afraid."

Shinra raised his eyebrows, "Afraid? Afraid of what?"

Izaya looked back at his friend; determination shining in his eyes. His lips opened he was just about to spill a secret he locked away for years, a secret he kept hidden from the prying eyes of his family, from the glaring stares of the Awakusu-kai. He was about to tell his only friend a secret he tried to keep sealed deep within his mind so that he would never have to face his living nightmare again. Just as the words were about to be spilled, the front door to Shinra's apartment was kicked in.

"Oi Shinra, I need you to fix me up. The flea sent a gang after me again." Shizuo explained in a loud yelling kind of voice.

Izaya looked to the ground mumbling, "I haven't had the time to send a gang after you Shizu-chan."

"Shizuo~ how many times have I told you, don't break down the door, knock before you enter?" Shinra whined standing up and walking over as Shizuo strolled into the living room.

He looked at Shinra, then to Izaya, then back to Shinra. Shizuo then raised his hand and pointed at Izaya complaining "What the fuck is he doing here?"

"Haha, well…" Shinra tried to answer while looking back to Izaya who had gone completely silent. Izaya had cast his eyes to the floor._ 'Great, and just when I thought I had gotten somewhere,'_ thought Shinra. Shizuo looked irritated, the anger was boiling inside his veins and if Shinra didn't say something soon, he would blow. Shinra had to calm him down but how. Right then Shinra heard a sound. He spun on his heal, turning around to face Izaya. 'I-Izaya?'

Shizuo was still, the anger momentarily forgotten, as shock over took his system. The flea, his flea, was crying. He took a step forward, only to realise what he was about to do. Stoping himself form complete embarrassment, while simultaneously convincing himself that this was another of Izaya's stupid tricks. I mean there was no way in hell this could be happening, there was no way Izaya would be this venerable, there was no way the flea would let down his guard like this.

Izaya couldn't help it, he felt confused, constricted. He felt broken, he kept seeing his reflection in the mirror, kept hearing his younger self telling him to give up. He was afraid, and just when he built up the courage to tell someone, he was interrupted. He felt torn. What was he to do? It was funny really, funny that he was so broken, funny that he felt so weak, it was funny that he was here on Shinra's couch; crying in front of his mortal enemy. He stood, trying to escape, it was a natural instinct, he just wanted to get away, he wanted this to stop, and he needed this to end. He took a few steps forwards when unexpectedly he fell forward, hitting the ground hard. His knees buckled under him, his head began spinning, the world started to fade to black. The last thing he heard was the voice of his Monster calling out his name in surprise.

It all happened so quickly, one minute the flea was in tears the next he was trying to run away, or at least that's what Shizuo thought he was trying to do as Izaya stumbled past the couch. He didn't know what to think, witnessing such a thing was unheard of, one minute the fleas stumbling, tripping his way towards the hallway the next his knees are buckling, and he's lying face first on the hard wooden floor. Shizuo didn't even realise it when he called out "Izaya" in disbelief. He watched as Shinra walked over to the fallen informant, checking him for vital signs. Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, when the doctor smiled. Smiling was good right? During the commotion Shizuo had completely forgotten about his wounds. He walked forward as Celty stepped out of her room, supposedly curious as to what had occurred. Shizuo watched as the Dullahan froze for a few seconds before running over to assist Shinra in moving Izaya. She looked up at him in astonishment, as he offered to carry the flea to a bed or something.

After Izaya's unconscious form was deposited in the guest bedroom. Shinra fixed up Shizuo's wounds, he had expected the debt collector to go home after that, but Shizuo had stuck around. Shinra smiled, _'I guess in some twisted way he does care about Izaya huh?'_ Celty had cooked diner, and Shizuo had joined in as they silently ate their meal. It was kind of awkward none of them knew what to say about the events that had occurred earlier. It was unheard of, it was bizarre, it was unknown, they were worried about Izaya, but they didn't know what to do.

Meanwhile in the guest bedroom, Izaya's form tossed and turned as nightmares plagued his venerable and abused form. His brow was covered in cold sweat, his breathing coming out in short gasps. He whimpered, calling out for someone, anyone… No one came.

_Where...? Where am I?_

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><p><strong>Well there you go, Shizu-chan is in the building. I'm sorry if this is OOC, but I really didn't know what to do with Shizuo's character, me and him are like total opposites, its hard to be someone your not. Anyway I wonder if anyone has guessed what's going to happen, I know I haven't. This story has been really fun to wright (no its not over yet), its just I never know where its gonna take me. Sometimes I'm going one way, other times I'm spinning upside down. Really, I can't wait for the next chapter just as much as anyone else. :P<strong>

**Anyway, please review, favourite, follow. I really do love hearing from you guys. **


	5. Chapter 5 - Dream Locked

**_Disclaimer: *Sign* "I have been very down lately. My friend wants me to write her a story, but I'm in no mood to write it. I don't wanna disappoint her. :(" _**

**_Izaya: "Yay author-san is upset. I love humans, its so intriguing when they are experiencing painful emotions, their reactions are wonderful"_**

**Me: "I'm glad someones feeling better, to bad you wont be that way for long Iza-chan."**

**_Izaya: "What do you mea-"_**

**_Me: "Oh well, Shizuo can you please do the honours?"_**

**_Izaya: "Wait, what do you mean I wont be that way for lo-"_**

**_Shizuo: *Sign* "Fine, NaturesShadows does not own Durarara! She does own this plot though." _**

**_Me: "Thanks Shizuo, bye enjoy the story. "_**

**_Izaya: "Wait!..."_**

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><p><em>Where…? Where am I?<em>

_Let me out..._

_A mirror was in front of the information broker, his reflection peering back at him. The image of a young child barely 10 years old. The boy was pale, with raven hair. The bangs fall over his face, casting shadows into his bright crimson eyes; hiding the beautiful ruby gems from the world. His reflection gazed at him in wonder as Izaya reached his hand out towards it. Then suddenly tiny crystals formed at the edges of his images eyes, falling down the young boys cheeks in small pearl droplets. Izaya retracted his hands, bringing them up to his face, showing the boy he meant no harm. The boy on the other side of the glass continued to weep, whimpering, as his young body was unable to handle the strong feelings of sadness and pain. Izaya called out, whispering soft words to calm the child down, but the child on the other side could not hear him. The young boy raised his fragile hands to his eyes and began to frantically rub the liquid away. But the droplets would not stop. The boy began to shake, shuddering as his boy grew cold, his lips growing pale as the cold seeped deeper into his bones. _

_Izaya cast his eyes to the floor, unable to watch the other in so much agony and grief. It was at that moment when Izaya noticed small flecks of scarlet, splattered in the bottom right hand corner of the old mirror. Horrified he snapped his head back up to his reflection, seeing the long sleeves of the black V-neck shirt rolled up revealing vicious cuts and blood soaked porcelain skin. He dared a glance at the boy's face; instantly recognising the depletion of life. The information broker watched as the once vibrant eyes faded, dulling at the life slowly dipped, like a tap leaking. He witnessed the life vanish from the boy's young form. _

_Izaya bashed his arms desperately against the glass, trying to reach the boy on the other side, but somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he won't make it in time. He knows it will be too late. The boy's body flops, crashing to the dark ground below. Blood began to pool around the victim. Izaya's arms drop to his sides, his eyes widened as tears began to spill over. This was cruel, this was too cruel. His body sluggishly turned, pushing his back against the glass, he gradually began to slip down until he was slumped on the cold hard floor. After a few agonizing minutes he chanced a glance over his shoulder only to see the pale body, leftovers of that vibrant boy. Scraps, all that was left behind, all that he could see was scraps. His quick glanced, turned into full on ogling as the seconds became minutes, Izaya was unable to rip his gaze from the child's still form. He continued to stare at the dull corpse, watching the face, waiting for any signs that the boy was still here, still among the living. Alas he fell short, no shine reflected in those dull crimson eyes, no breath came out in short puffs, no oxygen squeezed its way through the now blue lips of the child. The body was still, the body had lost the precious gift called life… The body was dead. Izaya continued to watch for what felt like hours. He wasn't even aware when his own body had contorted and turned itself around to face the mirror, to face the small boy crumpled on the cold ground._

_Izaya was searching, begging for something, anything to make the pain bearable. The loss of that child hurt more than Shizu-chan's vending machines. But no balm was given to the information broker. The pain began to seep deeper, and deeper into Izaya's heart. The dreaded organ began to feel numb with the pressure. 'Why? Why does it hurt so much? Why does it hurt to watch this child die?' Then as if the raven was dreaming (or maybe it was more of a hallucination) he saw the child's lips twitch, then again and again, until the boys lips were full on moving. They moved in patterns, but no sound was admitted. Izaya could not hear the boy's voice through the thick glass of the mirror. The information broker tried his hardest to read the child's lips, wanting some form of solace from this nightmare. He caught small sentences here and there. _

_"__I may be gone._

_But I shall forever remain._

_A scene, or memory,_

_I cause you pain. _

_The past is but the past,_

_But to you it is god._

_Will you remember me, as I once was? _

_Losing my life, I fade, lost light._

_But you've lost your eyes,_

_Lost sight, of yourself._

_I am forever trapped inside,_

_The beating heart you own._

_For you are me, and I am you._

_So wake up… WAKE UP IZAYA!" _

After dinner Shinra made his way to the guest bedroom with the intention to check up on his friend. What he saw when he opened the door, shocked him to his core. There lying still on the crumpled white sheets was Izaya, his breaths coming out in short gasps. His brow was covered in cold sweat, his cheeks were flushed. He whimpered in his sleep, mumbling incomprehensible words. Shinra walked towards the information broker, reached for his pale hand, and gripped the cold appendage with affection trying to deliver some warmth to the still form. He whispered comforting words hoping Izaya could hear him.

Days past, and Shinra spent, what felt like weeks attending to Izaya. Each night, the informant would cry and thrash around. One day it got so bad, he requested his beloved Celty's assistance. She held Izaya down with her shadows as Shinra injected a quick working drug. Honestly Shinra had no clue as to what was happening. One minute Izaya was fine (a little disturbed maybe but he was still fine), the next Izaya was this venerable, still form laying upon the bed. Even Shizuo had been somewhat upset with Izaya's sudden 'illness'. Shizuo was still staying at their house, he had been sleeping on the couch in the living room, he claimed to be comforting Celty but Shinra knew he was just worried.

Shinra had once again wondered to the informant's room, subconsciously his body was drawn to the silent figure. He stared at Izaya, watching the rise and fall of his chest, watching as the small puffs of breath squeezed their way through the pale lips. He was only half aware when he walked over to the bed, still staring, he wiped the tears from the flushed cheeks. Keeping the hands there for a few seconds then he drew them up to his brow, checking his temperature (to a certain degree he was satisfied with the result) then he moved the sweaty bangs from his face. The raven locks framing the calm expression. Shinra smiled, it seemed he had helped Izaya somehow.

Unexpectedly he heard a gasp, then a hitch in Izaya's breath (for a few milliseconds Shinra was worried), then crimson eyes snapped open. Shinra's own eyes widened in surprise, his eyebrows rose in shock. Izaya looked around the room in a frenzy, before finding Shinra standing above him, then Izaya's expression softened. He sighed in relief, then he looked directly into Shinra's eyes. At that moment Shinra didn't know what to say he had never seen such a strong, vibrant expression written so clearly on Izaya's face. He could see the agony, the loneliness, the sadness swirling in those ruby gems. His breath hitched, then he let out a slow breath, he raised his hand to Izaya's shoulder trying to provide some form of comfort. Izaya smiled, it was quite small, tinged with pain and something else, something bitter-sweet, but it was still a smile. Izaya raised his own hand abet shakily, and plonked the pail limb on top of Shinra's. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, with no words being spoken between them. They had no need for words at this point in time. Shinra understood that Izaya needed someone to comfort him, Izaya understood Shinra was willing to provide that warmth, it was as simple as that. _'I hope that… Whatever this is… I hope you will get better soon Izaya.'_


	6. Chapter 6 - Reality is Slipping

**Ok I am sorry about the delayed release. I suffered a little writers block... Not sure if you can call it that though. I mean, I knew what I wanted to write, I just couldn't write it. :P**

**Disclaimer; "I NaturesShadows do not own Durarara. If I did, Izaya would suffer some more, and he would be cuter, and he would get sick... And much, much more would happen. XD"**

**Anyway without further ado onto the next chapter.**

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><p>Shizuo was surprised to say the least. His flea passing out, his reactions to such a socking situation, the way his pale informant laid upon a bed tossing and turning as Shinra tried to calm the storm. Izaya was having nightmares, nightmares so bad reality seemed to be slipping through his fingers… <em>'Has Izaya all way's been this human, this venerable.'<em> The debt collector didn't know how to preserve this truth, the fact of his flea being unconscious for days stuck him as odd, terrifyingly so.

He claimed to have stayed to assist Celty and Shinra; he knew they were both concerned for the flea, he wanted to provide them some comfort (mostly for the Dullahan), but there was another part of him that stayed for the sake of Izaya.

It was strange to see him thrashing around on the pale sheets of the guest bed in Shinra's house, it was even stranger to witness Izaya's tears, but the thing that hurt the most was when it got to the point of Izaya injuring himself in his sleep. When Shinra and Celty worked together in subduing the crumpled form, all he could do was stand in horror, bystander to something he never wanted to see again. It was because of those reasons that Shizuo Heiwajima was happy (ecstatic even) to hear from Shinra's lips, "Izaya is awake, and seems to be alright, a bit shaken, but alright." Really he had never been so relieved in his life. _'Stupid Izaya playing with his feelings again.'_

Later that day with some encouragement from both Shinra and Celty, Shizuo was standing outside of the guest bedroom, trying to work up the courage to enter and talk (like a civilized person) with his enemy. He knocked twice and waited until he heard a quiet, "Come in."

He stepped past the entry way, as Izaya looked up at him, at first his expression was surprise, but it quickly morphed into amusement. So quickly Shizuo wasn't sure if he was seeing things. He nodded his head towards the flea, then pulled over a chair so that he could sit beside the bed. Then in a calm and reasonably hushed tone he asked "So how are you feeling flea?"

Izaya was stunned. What was Shizuo going on about? Why was the Protozoan still here? Why did Shizu-chan seem so… So concerned. Or maybe he was reading that flicker of light in Shizuo's eyes wrong… Maybe it wasn't worry. Well whatever it was, he was asked a question, Shizu-chan wanted information; information only he could provide. Izaya couldn't help the small smile spreading over his lips. "What's wrong Shizu-chan? Are you worried about me?"

Shizuo frowned. He could tell that Izaya's teasing lacked him normal lustre, but they still pissed him off. Izaya began giggling, which made Shizuo's frown turn to surprise, his eyebrows raising on his forehead. He sighed. "Yeah. So what if I am? You're acting weird… Weirder than normal. You collapsed Izaya! You were unconscious for days. We all saw it… We all saw you like that."

Shizuo's voice had started off guarded, strong… Then it faded to a softer more shaky tone. The sound both surprised and shocked Izaya. He had never heard the beast sounding so venerable, and his weakness was none other than Izaya himself. _'Shizu-chan...'_ Izaya's mind was playing with him. He felt strange. Tipping his head down, Izaya began whispering words, communicating thoughts he never expected to speak. He told Shizuo about the strange mirror, the weird nausea, the peculiar poem written on the back of the glass shards, told him about the strange sounds he had heard in his apartment, how he felt frightened, he told him about the nightmares, then he told Shizuo about his reflection in the mirror and how it had broken him in ways he never thought possible. Throughout informing Shizuo about all these events, Izaya had kept his head down; as though serenading himself to his venerability. By the end of it, small drops were landing 'plop' onto the white bed sheets. His face was flushed, in both humiliation and hope as the tears flowed.

Shizuo took everything in stride. He didn't question why Izaya had opened up to him. He didn't question whether Izaya was lying or not; he knew he wasn't, he had become quite good at reading Izaya's truths and lies. Shizuo did however, reach over to Izaya and pull him into a hug. Shizuo knew Izaya needed the comfort… And he was willing to give it to the flea if it would help him calm down, if it would assist in dulling the fear, if it would stop those tears. For some reason it hurt to see the informant so broken. Then he took it one step further, he gently put his hand in Izaya's sleek raven hair and began running his fingers through it in a relaxing motion. Shizuo began whispering words into Izaya's ears. "It's okay… Let it out. You're alright. Everything will be fine now. It's okay… It's okay."

"Open your eyes,

You are not who you think you are.

There is someone else within you,

Causing torment, he loves your suffering.

He is me. But I am you.

A memory of the times you've forgotten.

Now that you are breaking have you become aware?

Of the beating heart within you.

Of those who seem to care.

I have lost. Lost everything, even my life.

But you remain, so I am not dead yet.

I need you…

I need you to wake up…

Wake up Izaya."

Izaya's eyes began to droop, the emotion stress and exhaustion finally getting to the fragile body of his flea. Shizuo just sat there, hugging him, trying to provide him comfort, and warmth. Then when he felt Izaya's form slump against his own. Gently pushed him back onto the bed and tucked him back under the sheet. He stood from his seat, walked to the door, glanced back at the peaceful figure laying on the bed, then he smiled and exited the room.

_'Thank you… Thank you Shizuo. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Thank you.'_

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><p><strong>Please leave a review, your comment speed up my inspiration and create wonderful opportunities to finish this story. Without them I die. :'( You don't want me to die do you?<strong>


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